A Swing at Love Read online

  “Ladies,” Suzanna’s voice boomed from the other table. “As this is our last evening before we fly back to the UK, I have prepared a few words.”

  “Here we go,” Isabelle muttered. “Let’s hope she keeps it briefer than her speech at last year’s season closing dinner.”

  “Shush,” Diane scolded her. “Be nice.”

  “I want to thank you all for coming on this fabulous trip,” Suzanna was saying. “I think we can all agree it was great to get away from the British weather and enjoy this wonderful sunshine…”

  Isabelle nudged Diane. “Any second now, she’s going to thank Tamsin for improving her game.”

  “I would like to give a special thank-you to Tamsin for helping us all improve our game.”

  Diane snorted a laugh and took a mouthful of wine to cover it. Everyone else applauded in agreement.

  “It was great to get to know our new pro in this beautiful setting. And now I think Tamsin would like to say a few words.” Suzanna turned towards Tamsin, who was sitting next to her.

  Tamsin stood and towered over Suzanna by at least a head. She cleared her throat with a little cough. “First of all, I want to thank Suzanna for the great organisation and for taking such good care of all the logistics.” She paused as the ladies gave a polite applause.

  Tamsin seemed at ease speaking in front of an audience. Diane could only admire this, as she herself was petrified just at the thought of it. She had declined the role of Lady Captain several times over the years, scared by the thought of having to give a speech after every Ladies’ Day competition.

  “Most of all,” Tamsin continued, “I want to thank all of you ladies for being so friendly and welcoming to me. A few of you I met here for the first time, and some of you I had the pleasure of knowing already.” Tamsin looked straight at Diane as she said this. “It has been wonderful to spend this time with you, both on the golf course and off. I feel like I have made new friends, which will make settling into my new home so much easier.”

  Diane’s eyes were locked on Tamsin’s as if they were tethered to each other.

  The rest of the room faded away and Tamsin was speaking only to her. After a while Tamsin’s words barely even registered anymore as Diane sat staring at her. A feeling of want started in her gut and swelled with every second that passed.

  “I could not have hoped for a better introduction to the RTGC and I hope to see you all often on the course.” Tamsin’s gaze went around the assembled ladies now and Diane’s awareness was brought back to the room. “And you know where to reach me to book a lesson.”

  Everyone laughed and clapped their hands vigorously.

  Tamsin sat down and Diane saw Suzanna pat her on the back, offering her own congratulations. She felt a pang of regret at not having been sat at the same table as Tamsin.

  “What’s the matter with you?” Isabelle said. “You look like someone just ran over your bunny.”

  “Sorry,” Diane answered, “I was lost in thought. And I don’t have a bunny.” She slapped Isabelle playfully on the shoulder. She smiled at her friend, but couldn’t shake the troubling thought that had dawned on her: could it be that the regret at not sitting next to Tamsin on this last evening was actually jealousy?

  Diane tapped the ‘Check In’ button on the screen of her tablet. The flight back to London was at nine the next morning, and she wanted to just drop off her bags at the counter and head to the departure lounge. No waiting in line to check in for her.

  She went through her carry-on bag to make sure she had everything she needed for the journey home. Her passport and purse were there, but she couldn’t find the book she was reading. She looked over to her bedside table, but the book wasn’t there either.

  Diane had taken it down to dinner to show Judy. She could have sworn she had brought it back up again after the meal, but maybe she’d left it downstairs.

  She knocked on the bathroom door and said, “I’m going down to the restaurant, I think I forgot my book.”

  Isabelle came out of the bathroom. “I’ll probably be asleep by the time you get back, I’m exhausted.” She gave Diane a kiss on the cheek. “Sleep well.”

  Diane took the stairs and went straight to the terrace, where her book was still lying on the table she’d been sitting at. As she walked through the lobby, she spotted Tamsin at a table in the hotel bar with a glass of wine in front of her.

  Diane hesitated. She wanted to get enough sleep before her alarm went off at six tomorrow, but her feet seemed to be of a different mind and started to walk towards Tamsin.

  “Having a night cap?” Diane found herself asking.

  Tamsin looked up to Diane with a smile on her face. “I am indeed. Will you join me?” She didn’t seem at all surprised that Diane had showed up.

  “I don’t want to disturb you if you’re enjoying a bit of time alone, after four days with a bunch of cackling women.” Diane made to walk away.

  Tamsin waved off her comment. “Please, sit,” she insisted. “To be honest, I was kind of hoping you’d come back down again. I really enjoyed our bender on the first night. It’s only fitting we do it again on the last one.”

  Tamsin’s smile reignited the want that had manifested itself in Diane earlier. She sat opposite Tamsin and gestured to the waiter to bring them two glasses of wine.

  “I can’t argue with that,” Diane said, smiling back at Tamsin. “Although I could do without a hangover since we’re going to be stuck on a plane for three hours.”

  “Then we’ll just have the one,” Tamsin said, as the waiter deposited their drinks on the table. She picked up her glass and held it up.

  Diane did the same. “What should we drink to this time?”

  Tamsin seemed to give this some thought, all the while keeping her green eyes trained on Diane. “To new beginnings,” she said simply.

  Diane clinked her glass against Tamsin’s and took a sip. She assumed Tamsin was talking about her own new beginning at the RTGC, but she couldn’t help but feel there was something more to the toast.

  “Did you have a nice time?” Diane usually wasn’t one for small-talk, but she found herself at a loss for more meaningful words.

  Tamsin was still looking at her intently. “I had a lovely time. You ladies are a pretty nice bunch. I would be happy to go on another group trip with most of you.” Her smile turned cheeky at this comment.

  “Most of us?” Diane was puzzled. “Who would you not want to go with?”

  “What I meant was, there are a few of you—one of you especially—whom I wouldn’t mind going on a solo trip with.” Tamsin’s smile disappeared for a brief moment and her face turned anxious, as if she’d just realised that she’d said something inappropriate. “For more intensive coaching, I mean. It’s difficult to give everyone enough of my time and attention on these group outings.”

  “Of course,” Diane said, regarding Tamsin. Did she just say what I think she said? Surely she wasn’t really talking about golf lessons?

  Diane couldn’t be sure which “one” Tamsin was referring to. To her knowledge, she was the person with whom Tamsin had spent the most time outside of the group activities. A glow warmed her. She took a sip of wine to hide her flushed cheeks, but she didn’t want to drink too fast. She found herself wanting to make their one drink together last as long as she possibly could.

  Why was that? Was Tamsin flirting? Did Diane want to flirt back? And if she did, what did it mean? It had been a long time since anyone had shown any romantic interest in her. She had loved Lawrence dearly, but even she had to admit that in the last few years of their marriage they had been more like friends than passionate lovers.

  But the thing was, she did feel like flirting back at Tamsin. If indeed, that was what was happening.

  “I, er,” Diane started, unsure of how to proceed. Then the words seemed to come to her of their own accord. “I wasn’t entirely honest with you the other night. When I said I had never had any romantic feelings for a woman.” She paus
ed, trying to assess what Tamsin was thinking of this seemingly abrupt change of topic.

  Tamsin’s lips formed into a smile again and she looked at Diane expectantly. “You weren’t?” Her voice was gentle.

  “No,” Diane continued, encouraged by the look on Tamsin’s face. “After we talked the other night, I thought back some more to my time at boarding school. I realised that the girl I mentioned, the one I ‘practiced’ with”—she made air quotes with her fingers—“well, I was probably a little in love with her. After the kissing incident, she started spending a lot of time with another one of our classmates, and I felt completely cast aside. Until now, I always thought it was just the disappointment of losing a friend. But I really felt terrible for a long time, and I missed her so much. Looking back, I realise that what I was actually feeling was rejection and jealousy.”

  Diane’s gaze had drifted to Tamsin’s mouth while she was talking and it was almost like she was hypnotised by Tamsin’s lips, by her smile.

  “Interesting,” Tamsin said.

  The words snapped Diane out of her trance-like state and she looked up at Tamsin’s eyes. Where before they had looked at her with only kindness, they now exuded something else. What it was, Diane wasn’t sure, but it caused a flurry of heat to spread throughout her body.

  Diane couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt like this. Probably never. The unfamiliarity of it just increased her confusion. She knew it was her turn to say something, that she should probably expand on what she’d just revealed.

  But no words came to her, so she said the only thing she could. “I should go up to my room.” She rose from her chair.

  Tamsin stood as well. “Diane, wait.”

  “Isabelle will be wondering where I am.” Diane started walking away. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” she said over her shoulder and almost ran to the stairs.

  By the time she got to the first floor her mind was a whirlpool of questions and confusion. She was right back at boarding school, a bumbling teenage girl, overwhelmed by emotions she was not equipped to handle.

  She reached her room but didn’t go in immediately. Instead, she leaned her back against the wall and closed her eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply to try and steady herself. She had to regain her composure before entering the room, in case Isabelle was still awake. Her friend would know instantly that something was not right.

  After a few deep breaths her mind seemed to settle somewhat; the questions that had been swirling around retreated to the background and the logical side of her brain took over again. What had she been thinking, trying to flirt with a much younger woman? It had just been a flash of temporary insanity, a silly whim brought on by too much wine. Diane kept repeating this over and over as she opened the door to the room. But even to herself she didn’t sound completely convincing.

  Chapter Twelve

  Tamsin leaned back against the headrest of her plane seat. She hadn’t slept well and hoped to catch up on some much-needed rest, although her prospects for doing so didn’t look promising. The chattering of middle-aged ladies, some of them with a nice tan on their faces, wasn’t conducive to a power nap.

  She’d asked for the window seat so she could at least stare outside—if she looked to her right, she would see Diane sitting at the other end of the three-seat row.

  Diane.

  All through the night, Tamsin had asked herself the same question: why had she said that silly thing about the solo trip? It had flummoxed them both to the extent that Diane had barely finished her glass of wine.

  For the life of her, Tamsin couldn’t figure out why those words had left her mouth. She liked Diane, there was no denying that. But not like that. Diane was as far removed from the type of women Tamsin usually fell for as could be. Moreover, she was a prominent member of her new club. And a heterosexual divorced accountant. Sure, she could be in that phase of her life where she might be questioning certain aspects of it—like so many women before her, and the many that would follow—but Tamsin wasn’t one to exploit that kind of vulnerability.

  She might fall for what most of her friends and family dubbed ‘the wrong kind of woman for her’ at regular intervals, but at least Tamsin didn’t have a penchant for falling for supposedly straight women. Even though her father certainly wished she were, Ellen had decidedly not been straight.

  Of all the thoughts floating through her mind after a successful first trip away with the RTGC ladies, a tipsy—because surely she must have been?—flirt with Diane Thompson was the last thing she’d expected. But what had been more unsettling, was that Diane had flirted back. There was an energy between them, a magnetism that drew them to each other, made them seek out each other’s company in a group—although Diane sitting in the same row as her was a coincidence.

  Tamsin gazed out of the window. They’d left the white beaches and blue waters of Portugal behind and were cruising above a carpet of clouds, which meant that Tamsin couldn’t see much of anything. But it was better than looking to her right and seeing Diane.

  She couldn’t afford to screw up another job because of something like this. What had happened with Ellen was bad enough, but still easy enough to recover from. If something like that happened again, however, she’d be stuck with a reputation she’d never be able to get rid of—and she could kiss her golf pro career goodbye.

  Tamsin closed her eyes. Sleep wouldn’t come, but she would use all the mental energy she had left to squash any thoughts of her and Diane. There was no such thing. She wasn’t even attracted to her.

  Tamsin would have given anything to get off the plane right there and then. She needed a few days on her own to sort out her thoughts—and herself. Long walks through the forest near her cottage with Bramble. A few hours spent restoring that old desk she’d bought a few months ago but hadn’t done anything with yet. Maybe another Tinder date… with someone who was her type. Yes, that was what she needed. She started planning the next few days in her head in great detail, just to have something to hold on to while her mind was in turmoil. Bramble. Forest. Desk. Tinder. She repeated the words in her head like a mantra so she didn’t have to give in to the urge to look to her right—and catch a glimpse of Diane.

  Some of the ladies’ husbands had volunteered to pick them up at Gatwick airport, squeezing the single women—and their bulky golf bags—into their cars. In Barbara’s case, her sister Camilla was fetching her and offered Tamsin a ride.

  Goodbyes were said and Tamsin found herself being drawn into hug after hug, some stiff and forced, others generous and warm, until the only person she hadn’t said goodbye to was Diane.

  “Are you all right?” Diane asked. “You don’t quite seem your jolly self today.” She spoke as though the previous night hadn’t happened.

  “Just the end-of-trip blues,” Tamsin said. “Back to reality and all that.”

  “It was rather a nice getaway, wasn’t it?” Diane winked at her.

  Tamsin was at a loss for words but, nevertheless, thought she should say something. She wasn’t the kind to let sleeping dogs lie, and have this unease fester inside of her. She wanted to leave it here, at the airport, so she could move on. And set up another Tinder date.

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?” Tamsin took a few steps backwards, although privacy in an airport arrivals hall would always be too much to ask for.

  Diane followed her. “Something wrong?” she asked.

  “About last night,” Tamsin said. “It’s important to me that you know I wasn’t trying anything. I wouldn’t. I mean, it wouldn’t be right.” Tamsin cursed herself for her lack of eloquence.

  Diane emitted her loud squawk of a laugh. “Well, you can stop worrying then. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind.” She patted Tamsin on the upper arm, quite a condescending gesture—or was it defensive?

  “Good.” Tamsin tried a smile, although she was pretty sure it didn’t much look like one.

  “You gave all the others one.” Diane threw her arms wide. “My turn
now for a hug.”

  Tamsin stepped into her embrace, uneasiness and something else—something she couldn’t quite put a finger on—bubbling inside her.

  Diane’s hug was by far the warmest she’d received today, and she drew her in much tighter than any of the other ladies had.

  “Call me to set up that appointment,” Diane said, after they broke from their hug. “To do your books.”

  “Will do.” Tamsin watched her saunter off. As usual, Diane was stylishly dressed in pleated trousers and matching blazer. Who even wears clothes like that on a plane? But of course, the inane question only served to mask the continuing turmoil in her mind.

  The first thing Tamsin did when she arrived home, was leave again. She got into her car to pick up Bramble at the kennels where she had reluctantly left her chocolate Labrador.

  Bramble was elated to see her and nearly bowled Tamsin over with enthusiasm. She’d take her for a good long walk and promised herself to not leave her dog for four consecutive days any time soon.

  As she walked through the forest, rejoicing in Bramble’s obvious delight, she thought about what Diane had said. “Call me to set up an appointment.” Before Diane had added that it would be an appointment to go over Tamsin’s books, Tamsin had, again, for a split second, believed Diane had meant something else. Maybe because, deep down, it was what she’d wanted to hear.

  Bramble rushed towards her, a battered tennis ball in her mouth. She dropped it in front of Tamsin’s feet, who promptly threw it in between the trees to her left. Bramble bounded off again, leaving Tamsin alone with her thoughts. Why did Diane always appear to be a part of those?

  They’d shared a few glasses of wine, a few laughs—Diane had such an infectious, raucous rumble of a laugh—and a couple of locked glances. So what?

  Yet, no matter how far she walked with Bramble, penetrating deeper into the forest, not caring how long her walk home would take after what had already been an exhausting day of travel, Tamsin kept hearing Diane’s voice, kept being reminded of that cheeky twinkle in her eyes when she’d confided in Tamsin about her boarding school same-sex kissing dalliance.