Two Hearts Forever Read online

  “Hey.” I put my hands on her arms. “It will be all right.”

  Zoe takes a deep breath and we both watch the long cloud that forms as she exhales.

  “Do you want me to stay?” I ask.

  “I don’t want to put you through an afternoon of Eve and I bickering. Didn’t you have a bunch of deadlines today?”

  “I do, but I always set my deadlines way ahead. In truth, I have plenty of time.” I rub her shoulder. “I’m here if you need me. If you don’t want me to stay, call me any time.” I lean closer to her. “I can turn it on, you know. I can be the person you need me to be right now.”

  “I don’t really know what that means, Anna,” she says, her voice a little harsh, “but thanks.” She looks through the store window. “Just as Brooklyn and I were finding our feet.” She shakes her head. “She has no regard for what this will do to Brooklyn, or how it will be for her when she leaves again.”

  “Why don’t you hear her out? See what she has to say?”

  Zoe nods. “I have to call Brooklyn. She’s going to Jaden’s after school, but I think she’d rather see her other mother instead.”

  “Brooklyn’s a tough kid. Maybe it will be good for her to see Eve.”

  “Yeah.” Zoe wraps her arms around herself. “Fuck, it’s cold.”

  “Go back in and deal with her. Call me later. I promise I’ll pick up.”

  “Okay.” Zoe quickly—flimsily—kisses me on the side of the mouth, then heads back inside.

  “Holy smoke,” I say to Hemingway, quickly realizing that a few words muttered under my breath to my dog won’t do. It’s another week until I see April again. “Let’s go see Uncle Sean.”

  Because Eve returning can mean so many things. First of all, the suddenness of it has left Zoe clearly upset. Secondly, compared to me, Zoe’s ex looks like a glamorous movie star on a day off. So regal and blonde and perfectly blue-eyed, with those sharp Alpine cheekbones. Exactly the kind of woman I would picture Zoe with, if she wasn’t dating me. And just when I had found a way to cut through the anxiety loop in my head.

  “I wasn’t expecting you today,” Sean says when I walk into the office, and starts making me a cup of coffee immediately.

  “It’s an emergency.”

  “Which client?” he asks.

  “A personal emergency.” This makes me think of the homework assignment April gave me. Before I started seeing her, I probably wouldn’t have come here to talk about this.

  “Say whaaat?” Sean jokes. “Who are you and what have you done to Anna?” He hands me a cup of coffee.

  “Zoe’s ex-wife just arrived in Donovan Grove,” I say. “I just met her at Bookends. You should see her, Sean. Your eyes would pop straight out of their sockets.”

  “Okay.” He pretends to get up. “Let me get my coat and I’ll go and buy that book I’ve been meaning to get.” He shoots me a smile.

  “She… looks like the exact opposite of me.” I shake my head. “If that’s the kind of woman Zoe married, I have no idea what she’s doing with the likes of me.”

  “Um.” Poor Sean. He’s not used to dealing with this. “Do you, um, want me to call Jamie?”

  “No.” I glance at him. “I’m sorry. I’m a bit taken aback by this. Zoe and I were just doing so well. It felt like we were finally on track, but now… I don’t know what’s going to happen. And not knowing what’s going to happen is a massive anxiety trigger.”

  “That Eve’s probably a bitch. Zoe might have married her, but she also divorced her.”

  “She looked like a bit of a bitch,” I say, not meaning it. She looked perfectly lovely, like light was emanating from her pure and perfect soul.

  “Do you want to go to Lenny’s?” Sean asks.

  “It’s not even noon.” And it’s Thursday, I think. But nothing is regular about this Thursday. “We both have work to do.”

  “Work is just work, Anna. It’s not every day your new girlfriend’s ex-wife comes to town and throws you off guard.” He looks at Hemingway. “What do you think, buddy?”

  Hemingway just tilts his head. He’s waiting for Sean to give him a biscuit.

  “Oh, sorry, bud. All of this has thrown me off guard as well.” He opens the drawer where he keeps the dog treats and gives one to Hemingway. It’s seeing this familiar tableau that restores a modicum of peace inside my whirring brain. It’s seeing my best friend petting my dog and the everyday-ness of it that calms me down somewhat.

  “Did she say something to you? This Eve?” Sean asks when he’s done spoiling Hemingway.

  “We only spoke briefly. She was friendly. Zoe must have told her about me because she knew who I was. Or maybe Brooklyn did. They must talk, right? She must have told her other mother about the weird woman her Mom is seeing.”

  “No need to assume something like that,” Sean says matter-of-factly. He gets up. “Come on. Let’s get one beer.” He holds up one finger. “Just to calm our nerves a little.”

  “No, Sean. Really, it’s fine.” I pat him on the shoulder. “I’m going to get back to work. Get these covers done so I can be there for Zoe when she needs me.”

  When I say goodbye to him, I know what it is I will say to April about what I value in my best friend.

  4

  Zoe

  “Shall we get Brooklyn out of school early?” Eve asks. “I can’t wait to see her.”

  I shake my head. Not only because I don’t want Brooklyn to miss even an hour of school over this, but even more so because my brain still can’t quite parse that Eve is sitting right in front of me, in my apartment in Donovan Grove.

  “Why are you here, Eve?” I ignore her request.

  “You know why. I wanted to see my daughter.”

  “Why are you in the States?” She has repeated the daughter line a few times and it’s not one I can argue with. “What happened in Shanghai? Are you back for good or are you going back?”

  “I’m on home leave. It’s a thing when you take a job abroad.” She narrows her eyes. “It’s good to see you, Zoe. It’s good to see you living your bookstore dream.”

  Eve used to call it my ‘quaint bookstore dream’, so I guess her dropping the ‘quaint’ is progress.

  “You could have called, you know.” I just keep on repeating myself, but as much as I do, I don’t feel that my point is coming across. In the end, it doesn’t matter. Eve’s here now.

  “I know. I came here on a bit of a whim. I was going to call you from New York and ask you to be in on surprising Brooklyn, but then the excitement got the better of me, and I hopped into my car and here I am.”

  “She’s going to be beside herself.”

  “I sure hope so.” She heaves a sigh. “I missed her so much. I didn’t think it was possible.”

  “You could have been in touch more.” I don’t care about how reproachful that sounds. Eve leaving hurt Brooklyn.

  “God, I know. But sometimes it was just easier to keep my distance, you know?” She shakes her head. “Also, sometimes, I really wondered what I was thinking when I took that job in Shanghai and moved so far away from our daughter.” She shrugs. “Midlife crisis, I guess.”

  “I thought you had your midlife crisis when we divorced.” I glance at Eve and when she’s vulnerable like that, I can so easily remember all the reasons I fell for her. All the memories of our time together start running through my mind, like a slow trickle at first, but then they speed up, like a movie of which the climax is the day our daughter was born—the day we created another human being that would connect us forever, no matter what happened between us.

  “There’s nothing to say you can’t have two midlife crises.” Eve leans over the table. “Or even more than two.” She tilts her head. “Brooklyn told me about the woman you’re seeing. How’s that going?”

  I wonder what else Brooklyn has told Eve, on the rare occasions that they’ve spoken recently.

  “Very well, thank you. And has Brooklyn told you about her boyfriend?”

 
Eve nods. “Oh, yeah. Jaden Gunn. I’ve seen pictures. I never thought she’d fall for a white boy like that.” She chuckles.

  “She must take after me in that respect,” I say.

  “I hope I get to meet him. And that I can give him my parental seal of approval.”

  “How long are you staying?”

  “Through the weekend.”

  “And where are you staying?”

  She tilts her head again. “I’m well aware I’ve sprung this on you, but I was kind of hoping to stay here with you and Brooklyn.”

  “This is a two-bedroom apartment, Eve.”

  “I’ll take the couch. Or I’ll sleep in Brooklyn’s room. I’ll not want her out of my sight for a minute if I can help it.”

  “She might be happy to see you, but she’s still a teenager, so perhaps not that happy.” I can’t believe Eve would just rock up here and expect to stay at my place. I should make her go to a hotel. There’s a small inn not far from here, where Brooklyn and I stayed when we came to inspect the bookstore. But something inside me stops me from asking her to find another place to stay—my love for my daughter, who wouldn’t forgive me for making her other mother stay anywhere else but as close to her as possible.

  “It’s your call, Zoe,” Eve says, and I’m glad she’s not taking everything for granted.

  “It’s fine. Stay here. We’ll figure it out.” In the back of my mind, a little voice starts to say that this would be a perfect opportunity for me to spend the night at Anna’s, but I’m not sure how that will go down with Anna. Although she did say that she’d be there for me. She has plenty of room in her house. “Maybe I’ll stay with Anna,” I say, even though I’m not even sure Anna will have me, and I realize I’m also saying it to taunt Eve. “Give you and Brooklyn some alone time.”

  “Perfect,” Eve says. “While I’m here, I’d love to get to know Anna as well.”

  We’ll see about that, I think. “I need to reopen the store. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything. Make yourself at home.”

  “Thanks, Zoe.” Before I have the chance to get up, Eve grabs my hand. “Really. I know I’m asking a lot.”

  No kidding. “I’m just doing it for Brooklyn,” I say, while I glance at her hand on mine.

  She nods. “Still, I really appreciate it.” She smiles. “You haven’t changed much, you know. Although life upstate seems to agree with you. You seem very relaxed.” She finally lets go of my hand—it was about to get awkward.

  “It’s just very different here. There’s space and room to breathe properly and life is about three hundred percent less hectic than in the city. At first, I wasn’t sure if it would be for me, but now I know that it is. I’m glad for the time I had in the city, because if I hadn’t, I might not appreciate what I have here so much.”

  Eve nods as though she understands, which I’m pretty sure she doesn’t. “Shanghai is just as crazy as New York. Or no, actually, it’s crazier in many ways.” She pauses, opens her mouth, but then closes it again without continuing. I know her well enough to know that something more is going on here, something she hasn’t told me yet. Or maybe I’m just being paranoid—she has that effect on me. But we have all weekend to talk, as it would appear.

  5

  Anna

  When Zoe called to ask if she could come over after the store closed, I was ready. Since we got back together, I’ve gotten kind of used to her upsetting my schedule and, truth be told, most of those disturbances are very welcome occasions. Because I can’t get enough of seeing Zoe and spending time with her. Getting to know her always trumps whatever else it is I’d want to do with my time.

  “I’m not asking to stay over tonight,” Zoe says. “I want to keep an eye on Eve. Not that I don’t trust her, but I want to be there for Brooklyn in case she needs me. But…” She smiles that radiant smile of hers. “It would be really nice to not have to spend the entire weekend in my small apartment with my ex.”

  “You’re very welcome to stay here,” I say, even though alarm bells are going off in my head already.

  Zoe grabs my hands. “When you count it all up, we’ve been seeing each other for almost two months now.”

  “Well,” I mutter. “Maybe a month, if you deduct the time that we weren’t seeing each other.” Shit. Zoe’s been counting. And I know where this is going because there really is only one way for this to go.

  “No, your calculator has got it all wrong, Anna,” she says. “We went on our first date a few weeks before Valentine’s Day.”

  “You’re calling that a date? I was just welcoming you to town.”

  “Were you?” She arches up her eyebrows. “You did a pretty good job of hiding your welcoming vibe.”

  “Fine, two months. I submit to your far superior calculator.”

  “What I’m really trying to say”—Zoe turns her body toward me and increases her grip on my hands—“is that, perhaps, we should have a certain conversation.” Her gaze is so warm when she looks at me, something inside me melts again.

  “Yeah, I figured that was also what you were trying to say.” I give her a smile back.

  “If there’s something you want to say about that, of course.” She shuffles a little closer. “If you’re ready.”

  I sink my teeth into my bottom lip while I nod. “Thank you for being so patient with me.”

  “Don’t thank me for that. It’s not a matter of being patient. It’s just a matter of going with your particular flow. In a way, it’s been good for me as well. To not rush into something new. To take our time. Even to have the falling-outs that we’ve had. It’s all been very enlightening.”

  Goodness me. If words could ever melt my heart, those would be it. “You’re so sweet, Zoe. How did I ever get so lucky that you wound up in this town?”

  “I guess you have Mrs. Fincher to thank for that,” Zoe says.

  “Good old Mrs. Fincher…”

  “Are there things I should know, before… I spend the night here?” Zoe asks.

  “There are the house rules, of course,” I say, only half-joking.

  “Oh, I bet.” Zoe chuckles. “Can we just assume that I will break them?”

  “Let’s also assume that it won’t matter one bit if you do.” I try to look her in the eye. “I want you, Zoe. I think you’re so gorgeous I sometimes wonder if you’re actually real.” I squeeze her fingers, just to make sure again. “I think I’m ready, but it can still be unpredictable. I don’t know. I haven’t been with anyone since Cynthia. But I’m crazy about you. That’s all I really know at this point…”

  “I’m pretty crazy about you as well.” She leans in and kisses me lightly on the cheek.

  “But, um…” Instead of kissing her back, I need to ask her this question, otherwise my brain will go into a loop again, and I’ll be spinning out of control for hours, perhaps days. “Eve… she’s so beautiful. Like, um, conventionally beautiful. By all the standards. She’s so tall and thin and toned… I hide it well, but I’m not really like that.”

  Zoe chuckles again. “By my standards,” she says, “you are absolutely beautiful. You’re brilliant and talented and kind and you’re brave enough to work on yourself, and I hold that in very high regard.” She cocks her head. “Besides, with all the smut you read, I expect you’ll have some secret tricks up your sleeve.”

  I laugh with her, even though my looming anxiety has been far from quenched. “I don’t.” I manage to keep a smile on my face. “Please, lower your expectations now.”

  “I refuse to do so.” She kisses me on the cheek again.

  “Your bad,” I mumble, and go for Zoe’s lips, but she pulls them away.

  “I wish I could take an eraser to your mind and blot out all the insecurities and doubts you have about yourself. Because they’re all so unnecessary.”

  “It helps when you kiss me,” I say.

  “I can at least do that.” Then she does kiss me on the lips and her touch is so exquisite, so soft and demanding at the same time, that I’
m able to banish most of the anxiety that will inevitably come with having her stay over tomorrow.

  But tonight is tonight. All I have to do is promise to try. Yet I want her to know my intentions as well, so as we kiss, I pull her as close as she can get. I press myself against her so I can feel her glorious body against mine, and I try not to think of Eve—I try not to compare myself to her. Because comparing myself to others is what I’ve been doing all my life.

  Because of my time with April, I know that I will never be like anyone else, because I can only ever be me. And right now, I’m with Zoe, whose tongue feels so deliciously soft in my mouth, that it’s making my entire body tingle. It’s making parts of me come alive that have been dormant for a very long time—parts I had believed I’d leave resting for the remainder of my days. Until Zoe came along.

  6

  Zoe

  “Why won’t you stay?” Brooklyn asks, in the kind of whiny voice she had when she’d just learned how to talk and really wanted something.

  “I’m staying for dinner,” I say.

  “It was just so much fun last night, when it was the three of us in the apartment. Just like before.”

  “Come here.” Brooklyn and I are both in the store. Eve is doing God knows what upstairs. I give Brooklyn a hug she’s not very keen on receiving. “As much as I wanted that for you, and I will always be sorry that I wasn’t able to give you a home with two parents while you were growing up, Eve and I aren’t together anymore. We haven’t been for a long time, mija. There’s no use in pretending anymore now, just because she’s here.” I put my hand on her neck. I’m grateful for the moment alone with her, because we haven’t had any since Brooklyn came home from school yesterday. “How are you dealing with your mama turning up out of the blue like that?”